lessons

Yesterday in Relief society, they were giving a lesson on, actually, I'm not sure what it was on? Simplifying your life or relationships? anyway, it was wonderful. Lots of reminders to slow down and not do so much, which is sort of what I have been trying to make myself do this past year. I find myself making huge to do lists and having ridiculous expectations for myself each day. When I had my panic attacks, I was freaking out that I wasn't getting anything done & everyone kept saying "you don't HAVE to do anything!" And I found that it was true. all these projects and errands and cleaning are not have to things, and most of them can wait! I can give myself time to read and to play with the kids and to go for a walk and to do the project I want to do rather than the one I think needs doing the most. I keep saying, "dude I've lost my give a damn!" and I love it! You would think that now I am super lazy, but not at all! I find that I have time to do the things I want to do instead, also a huge part of that is Tina the cleaning lady :) Yeah I know, you hate me. he he. also, i make my kids clean a lot more than i used to.
Also in the lesson, relationships were discussed. To strengthen the 4 most important relationships in your life (1) with God (2) with your family (3) with your neighbor and (4) with yourself. I made this comment about the relationship with yourself and all the ladies made a sound! an "I love that sound." I didn't realize it was so profound! but, actually it is, so I will write it here.
Several years ago, I had been teaching primary. I was having a horrible, emotional day and the lesson went terribly. I left my class and went outside to go home. This wonderful lady, who's daughter was in my class, stopped me and asked me what was wrong. I poured my heart out and basically just beat myself up. This wonderful lady,Trishia Farr, told me to "stop that right now! There is a little girl still inside of you that you need to be nice to!" She had me put in my mind a picture of myself as a little girl and she said, " Who's going to protect her but you? Heavenly Father loves that little girl!" And I often think of that when I beat myself up. I need to protect that sweet little girl from me. Now, sit and picture your own little girl self and do something nice for her today!